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Husband to my best friend, Linda; Dad to three artistic and amazing children... John, Jeremy and Sarah, Plan A Coach with Kingdom Building Ministries and Missionary with Eastgate House of Prayer.

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Thursday, February 25, 2010

"Holding out on God hanging on to me" & Brent's "Thirsty" prayer...

At "Thirsty Wednesday" last night, Brent Ingersoll prayed that God would "show us a vision of our calling and grant us the courage to walk into it without fear and insecurity".  As he poured out that prayer I immediately felt the power of seeing myself and our congregation at KVWC moving in freedom and courage into all that God has called us to be and do.  Then I quickly recognized that this would truly be miraculous and would not happen without God's grace and without Him bringing a change in me and in us as a church.  

I enjoy listening to people as they talk about what God wants them to be and do.  Their dreams, struggles, successes and failures all help me to stay in the game and to find hope for my journey.  Lately a friend of mine said to me that he feels that the biggest barrier standing in the path of living out our calling is "getting over" ourselves.  He's right!!  I'd love to experience everyday life with a strong allegiance to the rights of the kingdom of God as a higher value than my so called personal/individual "rights".  What if we lived each day with a focus on His will being done on earth as it is in heaven?  What if I were not so sympathetic with myself and others when we hold out on God because of fear and insecurity and leave His mission unaccomplished?  What if it wasn't considered normal amongst us any more to hang back and take our time in making the courageous sacrifices  necessary to show our world that Jesus cares and is here to rescue them no matter what they are going through or no matter what it might cost us?  Getting over myself and my wants is a heartbreaking experience sometimes... sad as I am to admit it...  But, I do believe the answer still lies in finding my contentment and fulfillment in allowing God to completely fill me with His perfect love.  I John 4:18...     


 18There is no fear in love [dread does not exist], but full-grown (complete, perfect) love [g]turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear [h]brings with it the thought of punishment, and [so] he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love [is not yet grown into love's complete perfection].        


If we turn back or grind to a halt on the path of following Jesus because of fear of any kind than we are holding out on God.  How can we be satisfied with that?   I am becoming increasingly discontent with myself over this issue and sometimes I even get angry about it and I am sharing here because I feel many of us are stuck and would love to break through these barriers of fear and insecurity.