This is not about that...

What does it mean when we say things like, "This is not about me" or "I'm really thinking about what is best for you in this..."?  Are we a good judge about whether or not our actions are selfish or selfless?  The other day I read something about a selflessness that is born out of a deep awareness of who one is and what they are supposed to do.  I found that idea very intriguing as it seems that in many of our relationships, we often misunderstand someone who is secure about those issues as arrogance.  I John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."  It is actually "self centered-ness" and pride that leads us to fear.  When you and I are completely full of God's perfect love, we are free to fully embrace who we are and we can live securely in the life mission He has designed for us to accomplish.  We can then actually bring our best to our relationships and the mission we have been given.